covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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