For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
