Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
