only if we run a train.
done.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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