So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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