you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's shark week go big or go home
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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