Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
