i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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