and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
