i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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