I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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