i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
