so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize