I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.