I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
wow bdsm is so cute
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