I cannot find my penis.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.