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have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
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