Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
