Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he wants to bone in the snuggie
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize