I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
