Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
