I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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