Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
