do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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