We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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