he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
