I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
