I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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