just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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