If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
