I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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