If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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