In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize