I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
