Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
