the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
