So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
