When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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