I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
