I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
