I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize