My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Randomize
