I want to stick my p in your. b.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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