Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
