Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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