It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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