You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
