Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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