went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
