just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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