Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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