So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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