Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
