I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
