He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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