There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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