What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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