Sponge bath it is.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
