My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
is wine microwaveable?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
