wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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