Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize