it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
