So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
