I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
smell my finger.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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