Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Vodka?
Forever.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
