First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
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I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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