She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
